f



Right on

December 11, 2007, 9:40 am
Comic relief: The Apple Product Cycle
As Macworld approaches, this is as good a time as any to revisit the 
canonical Apple Product Cycle, boiled down to 36 steps by an anonymous 
humorist who called himself misterbg. Originally posted more than three 
years ago, it rings as a true today as it did then. The full parody is 
available here. A sample below:

It begins:

  An obscure component manufacturer somewhere in the Pacific Rim announces a 
major order for some bleeding-edge piece of technology that could 
conceivably become part of an expensive, digital-lifestyle-enhancing nerd 
toy.

Soon:

  Eager Mac-heads fan the flames by flooding the Mac discussion forums with 
more groundless conjecture. Threads pop up around feature wish lists, 
favorite colors, and likely retail price points.

Months later:

  As Macworld or the Worldwide Developer's Conference draws near, the 
chatter builds to a fever pitch. Rumor sites jockey for position, posting a 
new unverifiable, contradictory rumor every hour or so. eBay is flooded with 
six-month-old, slightly used gadgets as college students, underemployed web 
designers and independent musicians struggle to clear credit card space.

Macworld arrives:

  Steve Jobs spends the first half-hour of his keynote crowing about how 
many iPods shipped during the previous six months and how many "native 
applications" have been developed for OS X. Attempting to appear as though 
it's just an afterthought, he finally introduces the new Apple product. The 
product has sleek, clean lines, a diminutive form factor, and less than half 
of the useful features that everyone was expecting. Jobs announces that the 
product is available "immediately."

Overnight:

  The haters offer their assessment. The forums are ablaze with vitriolic 
rage. Haters pan the device for being less powerful than a Cray X1 while 
zealots counter that it is both smaller and lighter than a Buick Regal. The 
virtual slap-fight goes on and on, until obscure technical nuances like, 
"Will it play multiplexed Ogg Vorbis streams?" become matters of life and 
death.

After delays, second-guessing, and stock gyrations, the product ships:

  Weeks before most users are able to hold Apple's new gadget in their 
hands, "What features would you like in the next version?" discussions take 
place on Mac mailing lists. Mac-heads cook up droves of far-fetched, often 
bizarre ideas. A cursory reading makes it readily apparent why Apple 
executives pay no attention to their fanatical customers.

Disassemblies, backorders, celebrity sightings, software updates, until .

  An obscure component manufacturer somewhere in the Pacific Rim announces a 
major order for some new bleeding-edge piece of technology that could 
conceivably become part of some expensive, digital-lifestyle-enhancing nerd 
toy. The fun begins again.

  http://apple20.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2007/12/11/comic-relief-the-apple-product-cycle/


0
striperswipe (138)
12/12/2007 10:36:35 PM
comp.sys.mac.advocacy 34242 articles. 0 followers. Post Follow

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In article <PnZ7j.13387$k27.7856@bignews2.bellsouth.net>,
 "zara" <striperswipe@verizon.net> wrote:

> December 11, 2007, 9:40 am
> Comic relief: The Apple Product Cycle
> As Macworld approaches, this is as good a time as any to revisit the 
> canonical Apple Product Cycle, boiled down to 36 steps by an anonymous 
> humorist who called himself misterbg. Originally posted more than three 
> years ago, it rings as a true today as it did then. The full parody is 
> available here. A sample below:
> 
> It begins:
> 
>   An obscure component manufacturer somewhere in the Pacific Rim announces a 
> major order for some bleeding-edge piece of technology that could 
> conceivably become part of an expensive, digital-lifestyle-enhancing nerd 
> toy.
> 
> Soon:
> 
>   Eager Mac-heads fan the flames by flooding the Mac discussion forums with 
> more groundless conjecture. Threads pop up around feature wish lists, 
> favorite colors, and likely retail price points.
> 
> Months later:
> 
>   As Macworld or the Worldwide Developer's Conference draws near, the 
> chatter builds to a fever pitch. Rumor sites jockey for position, posting a 
> new unverifiable, contradictory rumor every hour or so. eBay is flooded with 
> six-month-old, slightly used gadgets as college students, underemployed web 
> designers and independent musicians struggle to clear credit card space.
> 
> Macworld arrives:
> 
>   Steve Jobs spends the first half-hour of his keynote crowing about how 
> many iPods shipped during the previous six months and how many "native 
> applications" have been developed for OS X. Attempting to appear as though 
> it's just an afterthought, he finally introduces the new Apple product. The 
> product has sleek, clean lines, a diminutive form factor, and less than half 
> of the useful features that everyone was expecting. Jobs announces that the 
> product is available "immediately."
> 
> Overnight:
> 
>   The haters offer their assessment. The forums are ablaze with vitriolic 
> rage. Haters pan the device for being less powerful than a Cray X1 while 
> zealots counter that it is both smaller and lighter than a Buick Regal. The 
> virtual slap-fight goes on and on, until obscure technical nuances like, 
> "Will it play multiplexed Ogg Vorbis streams?" become matters of life and 
> death.
> 
> After delays, second-guessing, and stock gyrations, the product ships:
> 
>   Weeks before most users are able to hold Apple's new gadget in their 
> hands, "What features would you like in the next version?" discussions take 
> place on Mac mailing lists. Mac-heads cook up droves of far-fetched, often 
> bizarre ideas. A cursory reading makes it readily apparent why Apple 
> executives pay no attention to their fanatical customers.
> 
> Disassemblies, backorders, celebrity sightings, software updates, until .
> 
>   An obscure component manufacturer somewhere in the Pacific Rim announces a 
> major order for some new bleeding-edge piece of technology that could 
> conceivably become part of some expensive, digital-lifestyle-enhancing nerd 
> toy. The fun begins again.
> 
>   http://apple20.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2007/12/11/comic-relief-the-apple-produ
>   ct-cycle/

Admit it.  You want to try the Kool Aid.  :)
0
olddog934 (62)
12/13/2007 3:46:51 AM
"zara" <striperswipe@verizon.net> stated in post
PnZ7j.13387$k27.7856@bignews2.bellsouth.net on 12/12/07 3:36 PM:

>   The haters offer their assessment. The forums are ablaze with vitriolic
> rage. Haters pan the device for being less powerful than a Cray X1 while
> zealots counter that it is both smaller and lighter than a Buick Regal. The
> virtual slap-fight goes on and on, until obscure technical nuances like,
> "Will it play multiplexed Ogg Vorbis streams?" become matters of life and
> death.

Depends on the meaning of the word "play" - remember, the goal of some is
not to actually to look for what people think or believe or even what it,
but to play (if I may use that word) silly semantic games.

-- 
"Innovation is not about saying yes to everything. It's about saying NO to
all but the most crucial features."  -- Steve Jobs



0
CSMA2 (14734)
12/13/2007 8:27:37 AM
That was great Be.




"zara" <striperswipe@verizon.net> wrote in message 
news:PnZ7j.13387$k27.7856@bignews2.bellsouth.net...
> December 11, 2007, 9:40 am
> Comic relief: The Apple Product Cycle
> As Macworld approaches, this is as good a time as any to revisit the 
> canonical Apple Product Cycle, boiled down to 36 steps by an anonymous 
> humorist who called himself misterbg. Originally posted more than three 
> years ago, it rings as a true today as it did then. The full parody is 
> available here. A sample below:
>
> It begins:
>
>  An obscure component manufacturer somewhere in the Pacific Rim announces 
> a major order for some bleeding-edge piece of technology that could 
> conceivably become part of an expensive, digital-lifestyle-enhancing nerd 
> toy.
>
> Soon:
>
>  Eager Mac-heads fan the flames by flooding the Mac discussion forums with 
> more groundless conjecture. Threads pop up around feature wish lists, 
> favorite colors, and likely retail price points.
>
> Months later:
>
>  As Macworld or the Worldwide Developer's Conference draws near, the 
> chatter builds to a fever pitch. Rumor sites jockey for position, posting 
> a new unverifiable, contradictory rumor every hour or so. eBay is flooded 
> with six-month-old, slightly used gadgets as college students, 
> underemployed web designers and independent musicians struggle to clear 
> credit card space.
>
> Macworld arrives:
>
>  Steve Jobs spends the first half-hour of his keynote crowing about how 
> many iPods shipped during the previous six months and how many "native 
> applications" have been developed for OS X. Attempting to appear as though 
> it's just an afterthought, he finally introduces the new Apple product. 
> The product has sleek, clean lines, a diminutive form factor, and less 
> than half of the useful features that everyone was expecting. Jobs 
> announces that the product is available "immediately."
>
> Overnight:
>
>  The haters offer their assessment. The forums are ablaze with vitriolic 
> rage. Haters pan the device for being less powerful than a Cray X1 while 
> zealots counter that it is both smaller and lighter than a Buick Regal. 
> The virtual slap-fight goes on and on, until obscure technical nuances 
> like, "Will it play multiplexed Ogg Vorbis streams?" become matters of 
> life and death.
>
> After delays, second-guessing, and stock gyrations, the product ships:
>
>  Weeks before most users are able to hold Apple's new gadget in their 
> hands, "What features would you like in the next version?" discussions 
> take place on Mac mailing lists. Mac-heads cook up droves of far-fetched, 
> often bizarre ideas. A cursory reading makes it readily apparent why Apple 
> executives pay no attention to their fanatical customers.
>
> Disassemblies, backorders, celebrity sightings, software updates, until .
>
>  An obscure component manufacturer somewhere in the Pacific Rim announces 
> a major order for some new bleeding-edge piece of technology that could 
> conceivably become part of some expensive, digital-lifestyle-enhancing 
> nerd toy. The fun begins again.
>
> 
> http://apple20.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2007/12/11/comic-relief-the-apple-product-cycle/
>
> 


0
willardm (20)
12/14/2007 1:22:26 AM
Reply:

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Kanye West’s Twitter has been ground zero for much of the media’s West family headlines. It’s obvious that people have a problem with Kanye’s ...

Hum Writing First New Music In 18 Years
Although Illinois space-rock heroes Hum haven't released any new music since 1998's Downward Is Heavenward, they've continued to perform together ...

South Korea says North hacked official phones, unveils sanctions
South Korea on Tuesday accused North Korea of hacking the smartphones of government officials, and unveiled new sanctions on Pyongyang over its ...

Sharapova says she failed drug test; penalty unknown
IBNLive Sharapova says she failed drug test; penalty unknown (Mar 8, 2016) FOXSports.com LOS ANGELES (AP) Maria Sharapova's tennis career ...

Scuba diver survives getting sucked into pipe at Florida nuclear power plant
A family scuba diving trip turned into a near-death experience for a man who was pulled into a nuclear plant intake pipe in Florida. Christopher ...

Google Project Fi free to join, but will seem expensive outside USA
Project Fi, the Google mobile phone service, no longer needs an invitation to join. And in an aggressive pricing move, Google is slashing the ...

Sailor Killed in Pearl Harbor Attack Identified, Be Reburied
The U.S. military plans to bury a sailor from the USS Oklahoma whose remains were unidentified for more than 70 years after he died in the Japanese ...

Resources last updated: 3/8/2016 1:49:28 AM